Happy Presidents Day!
I decided, on this Presidents Day, that since I don’t have anything good to say about this president, or any of the other modern day presidents, that I would just talk about the OFFICE of the president and what he does.
Let’s back up then we’ll get to the funny stuff.
The government of these United States is made up of three branches:
The Executive Branch (President).
The Legislative Branch (Congress)
The Judicial Branch (Supreme Court)
The main job of the president is to ENFORCE the rules, laws which are made by Congress. (the Judicial branch is just there to decide if the rules are cool based on what our forefathers put down in the first documents like the Constitution).
So the President heads up the branch that is supposed to make sure people follow the rules.
Right there we have a problem. I don’t like to follow the rules!
(My mom and dad will verify that if you doubt me!)
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not like a murderer or anything serious like that. Jeez…I’m even terrified of skipping school or staying home when I’m not sick lest I get a whoopin’!
I’m talking about all the goofy rules like,
- Be sure and wash your hands before you eat – most times, I just want to grab something and eat it, not stop to wash my hands first!
- 5 second rule…you know, when you drop something on the ground you have 5 seconds to pick it up and it’s still good to eat. Why 5 seconds? Who decided that? Is it scientific? Why not 7? And if 7 is OK, why not 10? If 10 is good, OMG! What’s the difference! As long as I didn’t drop it in a pile of dog poop…or it has a nasty hair on it…what’s the difference! Stupid rule…I’m eatin’ it!
- Take your shoes off before you come in the house. Really? Have you smelled my feet lately? You’d honestly be much better off if I left my shoes on. But hey, what do I know? I’m just a kid!
- Say, “Excuse me!” if you burp. What? Every time? Seriously, do I have that many hours in the day. Besides, when they sound as good as mine do, you should say “Thank you” when I burp.
- Be sure to make you bed every day before you go to school. Why? I’m just going to mess it up again tonight.
- Put all your toys away when you’re done playing. Here’s where we clash…I’m never DONE playing, I’m just a kid!
- The toilet is not a typhoon simulator. Trust me…it is. You gotta have a boat that’s bigger so it’s not going to get sucked down and clog the toilet (ask me how I know that!). But if you’ve got a bigger boat model, it really rides the rough seas when you flush. Just be sure and do like your folks say and wash your hands after using the toilet.
- Don’t fart on your brother. OK, I can see where this should apply to him, but not to me.
- Don’t stick your boogers under the table. What? On top is better? Gross! Who wants to see that?
Well, I could go on. The world is full of rules that seem silly to me. I get that many rules are there to make sure no one gets hurt, and that’s cool. But if I want to eat the delicious gummy that just dropped on the floor…well…I might just bend the rules a bit and hope I don’t get a tummy ache later.
So the PRESIDENT’S job is to make sure the rules get followed and to suggest new ones if he can’t make the old ones work. It’s a tough job. I think there are lots of people like me who don’t like to follow rules.
I’m glad the President gets his own holiday. The job deserves it, even if we haven’t had a great president since like Kennedy, or FDR, or Abe Lincoln and maybe George Washington.
Hey, not for nothin’…I grew up on a street named for Abe Lincoln.
But honestly, off the top of your head, how many great Presidents can you name?
Right. But they get a special day. Hmmm?
Well, I’m just glad school is closed!
That’s it for now…It’s President’s Day so I have the day off to play!
In case you didn’t see, my FART FUN book is done and up for sale on Amazon.com
I must say, it turned out great. Hilarious! You’ll love the comics.
Ask your folks to get you a copy today before they’re all gone.
CLICK HERE to go to Amazon.com to get the paperback book.
CLICK HERE to get the KINDLE version.
Thanks! Send me a comment if you liked it. If you don’t, well, don’t send me a comment then.
Robby out…Happy President’s Day!
P.S. I’m working on my next book now…BOOGERS: ICKY, STICKY FUN! You’re gonna love this one too! Super funny!